Christianity >

I really don't know to start this. So I am just going to say it.I used to be
a very depressed girl. I considered myself a Christian but I knew inside
that I wasn't right with God. I was so fed up with my life one night I had
all these suicide notes written. I wrote them just in case somebody cared.
That's why I wanted to kill myself. I felt like nobody cared about me. Not
even my own family. I was at my youth group one week and I was in the
bathroom already to do it...I had a gun I think it was to my head. My
pastor's wife came running into the bathroom and asked me what I was doing.I
began screaming and crying at her about how I wanted to end it all. How I
couldn't deal with it anymore. When she finally got me to take the gun from
my head, she told me about how much they all cared for me there. And how she
wouldn't know what to do without me. After that, we came out of the bathroom
together. The sermon my pastor gave that night is exactly what I needed to
hear. It was about how even if nobody else loves me, God does, in spite of
everything I have ever done. I mean before that night, I knew that, but I
guess I never really believed it. My pastor's wife recently told me that
before she came into the bathroom, she was praying and she had this urge to
go into the bathroom. If it wasn't the voice of God, I don't know what it
was. I hope my story has helped somebody in some way. I want to thank Megan
for giving me this opportunity to share this with whoever reads it. And I
want to thank God for saving my life.

-By Anna


Deism >

I have found, through much reflection and rumination,
that Deism has, for me, provided the spiritual comfort
I really could have used when suffering teenage
depression. Therefore, I would like to share about it,
that it might help others.

First, perhaps, I should describe how I came to Deism.
My spiritual journey has been a long and winding one,
and it has found many a dead end. I was always raised
with a sense of moral values based in traditional
Christian teachings, but my family was not
particularly religious, and we did not attend church.
My first experience with church, then, was when my
grandmother died. Then we went to the church, and I
was intrigued by all the talk of God and Jesus how my
grandmother was with them. At the time I found it
comforting, and I came to believe it all. The first
doubt I had came from actually reading that book I had
heard so much about, the Bible. I found it quite
doubtful. I kept reading it, though, to see if, in
fact, there was anything in it to help me; I was
disappointed. Other deaths in the family, particularly
that of my other grandmother, which was very slow and
exceedingly painful, caused me, finally, to hate God.
So I looked to other things, paganism, atheism, mainly
as a way to get away from God, or, more precisely, to
try to piss God off. I don't think my basic belief in
God ever went away, but it was not helped by the
constant ridicule and torment that was junior high
school. Why does God subject me to this, I thought,
knowing the answer: because I hate Him. Deuteronomy
32:41 told me about God: "If I whet my glittering
sword, and mine hand take hold on Judgement, I shall
render vengeance to mine enemies, and reward them that
hate me." This was my reward, this hell on earth. The
situation was little improved in high school, and
suicide was often on my mind, but I lacked the thing
necessary therefor: a means by which to achieve my
death that I was not afraid to inflict upon myself. If
I had had access to a gun, be assured that I would not
be writing this now. It was not until just a few short
years ago that this feeling subsided. It was replaced
with acceptance. Acceptance that people will be how
they are, and what they say means nothing. As if
coming to this realisation were not hard enough for
me, I had to struggle with this other feeling, this
repressed, evil feeling that I could not escape from,
but that I could not admit or accept. In my very
earliest memory, it is there, a quaint, childlike
curiosity, which grew larger as I did, and when
eventually I became aware of it, there was no stopping
it, and it filled my being. To this very day, it is
hard to admit that I am gay, but each day, my
acceptance of myself becomes greater. All these things
have challenged my faith in God. That faith, or at
least the belief in God, has never ceased, and now it
grows whenever I think of it. I began to think about
God, and I came up with some odd ideas, which were
scrapped, but the ones that stayed have developed
themselves to the point where I can again call it a
religious faith. This time, though, it is not
Christianity. I knew that I could not go back to that.
I had no idea what it was, or that, indeed, many
others shared it. I only recently found out that my
belief was called Deism, and that it has been shared
by such great men as Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin
Franklin, Thomas Paine, Ethan Allen and George
Washington, to name just a few. Unlike most people,
however, I came to my belief entirely independent of
writings or teachings; I came to my belief through the
exploration of my own mind, and also through looking
beyond all things, beyond even the Universe itself,
and there I found God. This, I believe, is the path to
enlightenment. This is what I have seen. When
enlightenment is reached, contentment fills the mind,
and peace prevails in the spirit. But it cannot be
taught. You must search, and when you find what you
are looking for, you will know.

-Jim Cadwell

P.S.: For information on Deism go to www.deism.com


Jehova's Witness >

I represent Jehovah's Witnesses on your website
relating to depression amongst teens. JW's believe in
the Bible as Gods word, thus we consult it with all we
do to help with decision-making, problem solving, etc.
When talking to others about problems & depression, I
will be quoting many scriptures that they can read in
their own copies of the Bible, if need be.

I've had a few blows of my own in life. My father has
been an alcoholic for the last +/- nine years (all
through my teens), I was a bit of a loner in high
school, my best friend died in a car-accident when I
was 18, and because of my being the eldest kid in the
family, I was forced to do part-time work while in
school to carry the family financially. A few other
smaller mishaps helped me to become just about the
most depressed person alive! But hey, here I am, all
back to normal again thanks to a few people who were
willing to just listen!

With all my episodes, I've learnt a few things about
- Sometimes all we need is someone to talk to, even
though sometimes the problem itself cannot be solved!
- There are a few examples in the Bible of people who
became severely depressed, and they help us to
understand the nature our problems.
Jehovah God is there for us, no matter how depressed,
no matter what color, nation, religious background or
kind of person we are.
- My past depression doesn't necessarily qualify me
to help others, but I am willing to listen (or read,
in our case).